dreams
i keep having bizarre dreams. i can't really call them nightmares i guess, but seeing both my parents in the same dream is scary. seeing an abusive ex?? i wish i could wake myself up. dreams are just too weird and i don't like having them. i dunno. i'm gonna say something a little bonkers- do you believe that your dreams have a location? as in. do you believe they are taking place somewhere different than your body is? i'm not talking about astral projection or something. or maybe i am? i'm not clear on the definition. but whenever i have a crazy dream, i wake up entirely unrested. i'm never really aware that it's a dream, but i experience and feel everything. i make my own decisions without knowing i'm not awake. everything always feels just a bit fuzzy, but it never tips me off. and 80% of the time i'm fighting for my fucking life in there. i've been trying to avoid this conclusion for years but i'm starting to believe that my dreams are windows into other worlds- i don't know if it's different universes or timelines or whatever, i'm not a scientist. i am just a mentally ill person having vivid dreams that disturb me all the time and i can't rest because of it. i almost prefer the nights where i wake up every hour because i don't have time to dream!